The Settledness of Running Long Distance.

I am not a long distance runner. I run 5k and 10k races but I do not do half-marathons or marathons. After running short distance for almost 5 years, I began to get bored running just 3 miles every day. It became a routine. I knew my runs too well. Without good music's company, I would count the laps and pray for my run to end.

I ran my first half-marathon in October and it opened up a whole new world for me. I was not expecting myself to enjoy the race because I was sick and hadn't run for 2 weeks. I had not trained, and the longest distance I had run in the past year was 6 miles. I signed up for the race knowing it was a challenge but that was what I loved.

To my surprise, the 13.1 miles passed by like a 3-mile race. To borrow Sartre's language, it was a run for-itself and in-itself. I was perfectly able to focus on my music, to feel my pace, and to understand my rhythm. This hasn't happened since my last race in high school. Suddenly I was back running in the narrow paths in the forest, stepping on the red leaves, feeling the inner energy rushing out. It wasn't tiring and I didn't get any injuries except I strained my left hip flexor a little. I didn't get dizzy and I didn't faint. I just had a small headache afterwards, probably caused by dehydration.

It was a necessary refreshment. Because of the two-hour blank, I was able to jump out of the situation I live in. The continuous movement during the run and my knowing that I have a long way to go were settling. I was secure because nothing would change my running on that course at that time. I would just run, run, run.

So now, short distance running does not satisfy me anymore. I need to feel the certainty of running more than 10 miles. Only knowing that my unresting heart settles. I remember one of my professors who does marathons said 10k was too short. I was judging him so hard but now I understand, it is indeed too short.